Are you one of those women who for a month before your Summer holiday – round about nowish – embark on a strict regime consisting off hardcore running, gym, pilates, salad, salad, salad, juice, shake, salad, you name it, you’re doing it? Your waistband loosens, you feel fantastic and treat yourself to some new bikinis, holiday outfits and even a new hairdo. Then you get on your holiday, exhausted from your strict regime, binge on carbs and throw back the alcohol while chinking your glasses to ‘f*ck it, I’m on holiday!’ Two weeks pass of self-sabotage, I mean holiday fun, and you get home feeling bigger than before the regime began, bloated, spotty and craving sugar. You justify it with, ‘oh it’s Summer, why not?’ That’s fine if you are prepared for the consequences but I have a feeling you’re not. By the time you hit September, the school run and winter’s coming… you feel even worse than you did in spring and here you are again feeling rather inadequate on the brink of self-esteem collapse. Depressing realization isn’t it? Pass the wine…STOP!!
Do you want to give up that cycle once and for all?
What if instead of these constant sabotage cycles you really get to the bottom of why you don’t feel enough in the first place, just as you are? Society is conditioning us to believe that unless we are a size 8 with a washboard stomach, looking like we have just stepped out of a glossy magazine shoot then we aren’t enough.
Please, ladies, stop feeding yourself with literature and images that ultimately don’t make you feel good. Media can be full of judgments about other women’s bodies and when you judge others, you are just projecting out what you don’t like about yourself. Now more than ever, women need to support women for who they are.
80% of UK women are suffering from low self esteem and if we as women are true about changing the world and rising up, it starts with healing the root of our low self esteem.
It always goes back to our childhood when we have picked up self-limiting beliefs and taken them through to adulthood. It’s my belief that we all need therapy to let go of old conditioning and limiting beliefs but you might not be ready, just yet, to embark on a big life transformation but there are simple steps that you can take to improve your self-esteem so that you don’t have to embark on the exhausting cycles of self-sabotage.
Life is about balance and as soon as you deny yourself food, you yearn for it even more. How about you mentally tell yourself that you are allowed anything you want, however, you are choosing to eat clean, wholesome food because it makes you feel better in yourself and about yourself. It’s all about choice. Think clearly about what you want to feel and how you want to feel and bring an awareness to how toxic food makes you feel. It won’t be long until you realise how linked your state of self and mind is after eating low vibrational food. Do you really want to get back from holiday feeling as bloated and low as you do or do you want to have balance with your food choices on holiday and come back feeling calm and balanced? Remember, nothing is off the menu. Choose clean eating as a way of life.
The same goes for alcohol – Choose when you are going enjoy it and when you do have it, really enjoy every sip. It’s about balance and bringing that same awareness to how alcohol makes you feel. A basic human need is connection and without it, we would die – especially us girls – alcohol is a social lubricant that creates a connection but leads to disconnection from your true feelings. Most of the time when we are drinking we are actually numbing out feelings we don’t want to feel, this is the same on holiday too as when we slow down it allows our emotions to surface more so we push it down with more alcohol. Enjoy a few glasses of wine while making a conscious choice to stay in touch with yourself.
Listen to the way you talk to yourself – How can you feel good about yourself when you talk to yourself when you hurt yourself with unkind comments. It is shocking the way that we berate ourselves for something minor or judge our bodies for how they are and it’s time to be mindful of the way you speak to yourself. Give yourself a break!
Choose clothes that make you feel good all the time, not just on holiday. The clothes you wear reflects the way you feel about you. They don’t have to be expensive choices to make you feel good. Add colour and vibrancy to match your vibrant self.
Do exercise you love so then it doesn’t feel like a chore on holiday. Remember this is about subscribing to a way of life for the whole year, not just pre-holiday.
Self-care – When we have low self-esteem, we neglect ourselves and the first thing that goes is self-care. Think about what you need to do to find balance and start taking care of yourself. If you don’t, no one else will. So start today, taking care of YOUR needs before others.
Nature is the greatest healer – Spending time in nature is so healing, it reconnects you with you and the world around you while putting everything in perspective. Getting outside whether it’s in the forest, by the sea or in the park, it all helps re balance you.
It’s all about bringing balance into the rest of your life and not the extreme regime pre-holiday and the big mop up afterward. Choose a life of clean food, low alcohol, fun exercise, kind words to self, in the outdoors. Most of all, laugh with others and be playful, life isn’t meant to be serious. Live, life, love. You matter.
Originally published in