Anger: What to do about it.
Being a perfectionist never allowed room for being angry. Perfect girls don’t get angry. I didn’t truly feel angry or rageful until I had kids and I couldn’t control life anymore. I always had it in me of course but they were the trigger that blew my lid off. Where are you storing angry, who or what are you projecting it at? Road rage, political infuriation, in justices are all vehicles that we pin our frustrations on and the reality is, it’s not about the guy who cut you up in the car, it’s much deeper than that.
Understandably, these thoughts, feelings, and actions aren’t all that desirable, nor are they generally well-received in social situations. But tempting as it might be to repress our rage, doing so can have negative health consequences. Studies have found that suppressing anger can worsen the experience of pain and put stress on people’s cardiovascular systems; pushing anger down has also been tied to anxiety and depression .
However, in contrast, the benefits of acknowledging and harnessing our angry energy are well-documented in scientific studies. Anger can be a motivating force that also might make people feel more optimistic and confident. Acknowledging anger can help lower stress on your heart and manage pain, at least in laboratory studies . And expressing anger when it comes up (instead of bottling it up and letting it all come out in one explosive fight) has also been found to benefit relationships.
Notice when anger comes up, be honest with yourself. What are you really angry about?
Not feeling enough, not heard, insignificant, parents didn’t love the way you hoped and the list goes on. Underneath anger is always hurt but we use anger to make ourselves feel strong, big, powerful, to hide our vulnerability. At times it serves us to use it in a healthy
manner to assert boundaries when we are in danger but rage is something different.
Rage is suppressed, old anger, stored from childhood.
So how do you release anger in a healthy manner?
Some people use a form of exercise to release the stored energy/emotion. When we set our intention to release as we do it, the mind understands to let it go. I have found the most valuable tool has always been a guided meditation and visualisation where I say my old hurt to the ghost perpetrator, act out my old pain, tears and frustrations. Our mind doesn’t know real or fiction it believes that it is releasing the stored words and feelings as you unleash them to the person in the fictitious scene in your head. For some clients they need more than this, they feel the anger through their body like they are plugging into electricity and I recommend they release it by punching pillows, ringing towels and shouting. It’s about finding what works best for you and making sure you are in a healthy and safe environment where no one else is affected.
Once you let go of the anger you make more space for other feelings like joy, happiness, passion, love. The energy of anger doesn’t go anywhere, it stays in your body. So if you don’t release it, you’re body will go in to dis-ease and manifest in something physical. Gabor Mate documents how abandoning our feelings has huge repercussions that for women often show up in autoimmune disease. Stop judging anger as bad, see it as an energy that needs to pass through the body and out. Are you ready to release what is pent up inside?
As part of my coaching package, we explore your repressed anger and release it out of the body. Sign up to my coaching package and let’s free you of what you have been carrying around all this time.
CHECK OUT MY ANGER MEDITATION ON MY MEDITATIONS PAGE.